OK, real talk.
Who here has dreamed of becoming a mermaid ever since you were just a tiny, ocean-loving tot brushing your hair with a fork while your parents begged you not to start a VHS of “The Little Mermaid” for the 50th time that day?
Yeah, I know you.
I see your shell-covered phone case and three consecutive years’ worth of mermaid-themed Halloween costumes.
I hear you humming “Under the Sea” quietly to yourself as you pass me in the grocery store while you pick up anything but seafood for dinner because fish are friends and all that jazz.
I know you’ve sat there, sometimes for hours, with your mouse hovering over the “Buy Now” button while you shop for those ridiculously expensive but totally realistic looking silicone mermaid tails.
I even know you grew up with a weird crush on the cartoon Prince Eric.
And you know what else I know?
That your dream of becoming a real, live mermaid could finally, FINALLY come true.
Yeah, you could become a mermaid. (Go freak out for a minute — I’ll wait here.)
How to Become a Mermaid at Weeki Wachee
If you’re wondering what it’s like to be a Weeki Wachee mermaid, we’ve got you covered. See? We’re obsessed, too.
If you’ve read that and you’re still totally committed to landing the gig, here’s what you should know:
You’ll have to move to Florida, obviously, but there are worse things. (I promise.)
You must be at least 18 years old.
You must be available to work at least four days a week (including weekends) from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
You need to be a strong swimmer, and should be able to swim 400 yards in under 15 minutes. It will probably also help if you’re not claustrophobic. (Why, you ask? Did you even read the story I gave you?!)
You need to have a wide variety of skills, including everything from sewing to directing underwater shows.
If you’re hired, you’ll have to get scuba certified, and you’ll have to learn how to perform routines underwater in 74-degree water while a current pulls you this way and that.
You’ll make about $10 an hour starting out — but you’ll get to be a mermaid, so there’s that.
When you’re not performing, you might do a little travelling and make appearances with the rest of the mermaid crew.
Convinced this job was created specifically for you?
Then it’s probably time to apply to become a Weeki Wachee mermaid.
All you have to do is send a recent photo of yourself along with a resume to the email address listed here. (Just be aware: Because this isn’t the largest of operations, you should probably only flood the inbox if you’re pretty serious about applying.)
Grace Schweizer is a junior writer at The Penny Hoarder. She hopes all your mermaid dreams come true.
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