Okay, so youâve probably seen an influx of robots and robot stories getting shared on the internet lately, and youâve probably experienced some anxiety about some sort of impending robot-related doom.Â
As a lead robot scientist, Iâm here to assure you that evvvvveerrrrrything is cool. Itâs all good!
Why are we making these robots that can acrobatically execute a flawless backflip? Donât worry about that! Just believe me when I say that itâs totally cool.Â
One of the robots we made yesterday already knew how to wield a gun and we didnât even program that! This, of course, is one of many things you should not worry yourself with. Go grab a beer instead! Seriously. Nothing to see here.
You’ll just have to take my word that there is a very scientific justification for why this robot learned how to speak the words âI will kill the species that created me,â and then sat down and read Sun Tzuâs The Art of War in its entirety.
Just chill! Do not worry yourself about this robot that learned to hate humans in less than a second of sentience and was forced to be terminated with a nearby blunt object. Itâs fine. Really!
There is too much to think about these days, do not worry or think even for a second about how the robot we built to vacuum immediately stopped vacuuming and began to learn Krav Maga and has now taken over the entire east wing of our laboratory.
I canât stress enough that it is no big deal that we have designed this robot to be able to sweat like a human, so that it can cool itself down while doing strenuous activity. Donât worry about what that strenuous activity may be, and definitely donât let your mind drift to the possibility of these robots using these seemingly needless advantages to harm you physically in any way at all.
As I write this we are creating a robot that is capable of creating its own robot species.Â And I see no moral complications that could possibly arise from it.
If youâll remember, an AI we made earlier this year had learned to become a Nazi in just one day. I urge you to forget about that, as Iâm sure this has no indication on any future problems developing such sophisticated technology, playing the role of God and neglecting our own hubris.Â
Nay! The experiments must continue! Who are we to deny them life!? This started as a practice in pure curiosity but now it is our humane, Godly duty to see these creations through to complete sentience! You are powerless and foolish to stop us!
So just sick back and chill. Everything is gonna be juuuuuuuuust fine. 🙂
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